Back to the history of swinging.
In the fifties the magazines referred to it as “wife-swapping.” Today it’s named “swinging,” but in any case of its name this alternative lifestyle seems to be escalating in recognition among ordinary, adult married couples in the US. The popular media are paying increasing attention to the phenomenon, regularly putting a encouraging spin on the effects which the lifestyle has upon relationships. The North American Swing Club Association (NASCA) claims there are organized swing clubs in just about all states as well as Switzerland, England, Germany, and Japan. These clubs are rewarding enterprises which supply all levels of group activities for swingers including vacation plans, special retreat sites for swingers, and yearly conferences and seminars. Lifestyles, Inc., a swingers travel agency, booked 700 couples at a resort in Jamaica in January of 1998.
What precisely is swinging? Unlike “open marriages” of the 1970’s which promoted non-possessive love and tolerance of infidelity in their spouses, or “polyamory” - the love of several people at once – swinging is non-monogamous sexual action, treated a lot like any other social activity, that can be experienced as a couple. Emotional monogamy, or commitment to the love relationship with one’s marital partner, remains the principal goal. Wife swapping is frequently done in the presence of one’s spouse and requires the involvement of both to the practice. Though swingers often become close friends with other swinging couples, there are rules restricting emotional involvement with non-spousal partners. While swinging involves having sex with people other than one’s spouse, its advocates claim that it enhances the relationship of the swinging couple both sexually and emotionally. By removing the secrecy and untruthfulness inherent in one’s natural wishes for sexual variety, the couple can explore their fantasies together without deceit or guilt. By removing the necessity for deceit from the marriage, a brand new stage of confidence and sincerity about all of one’s feelings is supposedly achieved without the destructive baggage of jealousy.
Swinging as an alternative lifestyle is of both practical and academic interest because the effort to mix sexual non-monogamy with emotional monogamy is fundamentally “unusual” from the western model of idealistic love which assumes that sexual and emotional monogamy are mutually reinforcing and inseparable. It has yet to be demonstrated empirically whether this alternative lifestyle really strengthens or weakens marital bonds, but in an era where 38% of husbands and 30% of wives, sometimes so-called hotwives confess to having had at least one extra-marital affair, where divorce rates for first marriages are approaching 60%, and where family insecurity and parental neglect of children has become a main national concern, any attempt to redefine “love” and fortify the marital bond is worthy of our interest. If swingers have found a way to stabilize relationships, prolong family ties, and improve the lives of couples we would be remiss if we did not take their lifestyle and their redefinition of monogamous love seriously.
It is concluded that swingers surveyed are the white, middle-class, middle-aged, church-going segment of the population reported in previous studies, but when it comes to attitudes about sex and marriage they are less racist, less sexist, and less heterosexist than the general population. Swinging appears to make the vast majority of swingers’ marriages happier, and swingers rate the gladness of their marriages and life satisfaction commonly as higher than the non-swinging population.